GirlOfSea

Wazzzap guys! So Im having a very long vaca right now since I moved to the States and Im trying to be as productive as I can making some art everyday, either its photography, painting or crafts. Every morning I wake up and have some ideas I start having anxiety until Im finished with what I have planned. Why? I have no idea. Never happened to me before, prob cuz I had a job and regular everyday problems to deal with. Also If im not doing anything productive in the day I feel guilty and anxiety again..sometimes can't even fall a sleep. WTF guys? Whats wrong with me?
When Im finished and happy with the result Im happy...for about few hours then i start having the same shit going on..like Im craving to do something else. Maybe its because I dont have a job and Im  not bringing money in our family yet thats why I feel guilt, maybe its because Ive been not active during winter time and now trying to catch up for all thosse months of sitting on my ass and not being creative. Idk! Just chatted with my girl friend she said I should try take some anxiety medicine...arghhh I hate taking medicine especially for things like that, for things I can control (or I think i can). I am the reason why I feel this way (my head doing it to me), right? So I have to do smt to get rid of it. Any advices how to do so? Does anyone have uncontrolled out of blue anxiety? Tell me how you are dealing with it.

Love, M.

My flickr here www.flickr.com/photos/girl_of_…

Hi guys!
I know I promised here bunch of stuff and apparently it turned out as a bull. So I apologies...
Ive been doing much better as the weather getting better. Still can't believe why my mood so depended on the weather.
I have some cool news -
-sold my photograph at the art show in Baltimore for $120 (WOW)
-got the wedding dress I love
-done with papers for my green card
-and my parent have an interview date for their visa
-sold my old camera Canon EOS 400D and got new one Rebel T2i with new 50 mm 1.8 lens. I know lens is not the best but still its something new for me and I love it.
I also starting a new and first project. Hopefully when im done I can make a little exhibition with it in our little town.
Since I have my new camera that can shoot video too I did couple test videos where I live and of myself trying to play badminton lol you can check it out here on my youtube chanel www.youtube.com/user/girlofsea…
I guess thats it. Hope everyone doing well.
Love, M.
xoxo

Hi my dear friends!
I have a big favor to ask you! I entered the United Colors of Benetton competition. They looking for news faces for their 2010 campaign. Basically what you have to do is just register with your email and password and vote for me once a day until March of 16. It wont take more then couple of minutes but it means a LOT to me a lot and I really REALLY want this. All my life Ive been told I should of model, but I never had enough confidence to even try, all that insecurity never let me to do a lot of things I wanted. Today its a different story, I feel good about myself, I have a positive attitude and not going to waste any other chances to make my dreams come true. Just need a little help from the friends. So here is the ling casting.benetton.com/users/160… Please go and vote for me! I will need of your support and faith!

After March 16th you will be able to delete your account easily.
Thank you for your time. I really appreciated!

Hello people! Hope everyone had a great holidays!
It was an amazing experience for me. First time "real" Christmas celebration, tons of presents and meeting a lot of new family members. I loved it. 2009 was a great year for me, great changes in my life - moving from Ukraine to USA to live life with my hubby and continue this journey together from now on.
In the new year I set some goals for myself and will try my hardest to achieve them..just for me.
So I've decide to clean up all of my online galleries. I deleted some work I thought was not good enough, don't like anymore or just too old.
Ive decided to enter different photo contests during all year, to meet new people with same interests, to keep up to date all of my profiles and blogs and do at list one shoot every other week to update my portfolio, to practice and finding my own style. *yeah, I still searching for one
The only thing that hold me back is ME...I currently unemployed because I cant work here yet, I cant drive a car because I need to learn how to first and get licence, there is no public transport I can use and most of my friends are working so I cant relay on them to drive me whenever i want. You probably think "so you have all time in the world to work on your photography"...and I will agree with you..but...And there is not BUT for me, because I need to get up, stop being depressed, stop being stuck in this box, go outside and do thing i LoVE!
I think this is first time Im writing something personal here and I kinda feel good about it. Maybe to be open about myself its not bad thing. Maybe you guys will cheer me up
I lost my motivation for a while. You know sitting everyday online looking at photos of talented photographers work and try to find inspiration something a bad idea for me, because it could also depressing for person like me. Who constantly thinking "im suck"...so I put internet away for few days, had some hard time with my hubby, had some thinking to do and here I was...did few very personal pieces that I like ..fow now.
Also I miss working, waking up everyday early, getting ready to go, putting make up, some clothes, getting on subway and do things. Maybe I hated it but at list I was doing something useful. Now I feel Im not doing anything useful..and I hate myself for that. So again there is another thing - Ill have to get my ass out of this box and do thing I love
I never really was to attached to DA...you know why? Even tho I love it, the way it looks, the way it works, the way you can interact with other awesome ppl out there, but its more work to do when you uploading pics...yeah.. ridiculous right? Cuz other web site i use is easy..upload pics, few clicks and here you go. Im thinking - how lazy person can be by cutting off another opportunity to show work here just because it takes a little bit more time to upload my pics...damn girl..you are lazy ass!!! Again I hate myself for it...So I promised myself to spend 3-5 hours online where I suppose to be... surrounded by art and other awesome talented people. Start to create again, to improve, to amaze, to learn, to work...and then become someone.

Thank you for reading my poop Needed to put it somewhere, because my husband tired of hearing it over n over again..lol..JK

I will catch up and upload my latest work I did here in USA.

Much love, Marina.

Hi my dearest friends!
Yep, ive been pretty busy with my whole new life ...cuz after 24 years living in Ukraine and moving to USA was a pretty damn huge step for me and my loved ones.
But I have to tell you i dont have any regrets, im happiest woman alive and all that waiting was worth it.
Ive been here a little more then 2 months, was exploring, enjoing my new life with my hubby as a real family, was having fun with new family and friends and learning some new things about human relationships which is pretty different from where I came from.

I also wanted to tell you guys if you wanna colaborate and work on some art together and you are near Westminster are, please feel free to contact me here.

Im posting some of my latest work, also all updates are here flickr.com/photos/girl_of_sea

Love, M.
xoxo